Spacecraft Quality Downslide

Corellia - Many spacecraft makers are being hounded by the public to manufacture spacecraft reminicint of the old days.

"The ships 100 years ago had sleeker lines, higher speeds, and looked just plain better!" commented a local starship dealer.

Though it is true that ships these days are more squared on the edges and have matte finishes, such as a Corellian Corvettes manufactured here, they are more efficient and less expensive than older models.

Take any of the ships manufactured on Naboo, and you can see why the shipyards on that planet are out of business. The only folks who could afford those were royalty. Not to mention the ridiculous fuel efficiency. Glossy paint and nice curves are not always the best choice.

For collectors, on the other hand, those old rigs are great! Few ships (running ships) retain their value better than those from Naboo. Due to the Naboo shipyards careful regulation of spare parts, nothing is more rare than a hyperdrive generator for a Naboo Royal Starship.

There have been talks at Corellia Shipyards to remake some of the older models and sell them as luxury spacecraft, but the board of directors aren't sure how well such a move would do in this current galactic economy.

Will we see any curves or shine on modern spacecraft anytime soon? Only time will tell.

Power Converters

Anchorhead - Tatooine - A new generation of power converters has local youth swarming the small general store of Tosche Station. "We always knew they were popular, but we had no idea that a new version would bring in this many customers," a local merchant stated. Tosche Station has been a local hub for teenagers for decades in downtown Anchorhead.

There is likely to be a shortage, especially with the holiday season coming soon. Manufacturers of the new power converters are likely to see record sales for the next quarter.

Alderaan leak probed

Members of the rebel alliance are pressuring the Death Star to come forward about with information regarding the "leak" of the rebel base. This comes in the days following an investigation into the source of the leak that ultimately led to the destruction of Alderaan. The investigation states that Count "Scooter" Dooku was authorized by Galactic Overlord Darth W. Vader to provide confidential information about the whereabout of Alderaan. Now, key members of the Rebel Alliance are calling for the Death Star to release any information about the leak, and to address growing concerns about confidence in the Dark Lord.

The report says that Scooter Dooku was authorized by Darth W. Vader due to a growing rebel movement in the days following the creating of the Galactic Empire. Many say that Vader and Darth Cheney lied about the creation of a clone army, as well as intelligence claiming that the Jedi were in possession of WMD's. This intelligence led the Sith leaders to use the clone army to destroy the Jedi, a move that many within the rebel alliance say was unwarranted.

Death Star press Secretary, Droopy McClellan said that disclosure of this information was fully within Lord Vader's power, and that if anyone had any questions regarding the "leak", he was authorized by Lord Vader to choke them to death using the force, a common tactic of this administration.

Squid Flu Likely In U.S. This Year

(Coruscant) Officials fear that the deadly squid flu will probably arrive on Coruscant this year, and the Empire says it expects 20,000 to 100,000 cases. "People on Coruscant are not yet at risk", Grand Moff Chertoff said Tuesday, "The Empire has a plan to quarantine and destroy any squid, Mon Calamari, or other creature originating from Mon Calamari found to carry the deadly virus. At this point, if you're a squid, it's a pandemic. If you're a human, or a Twi'lek, or an Ugnaugh it's not a pandemic."

While squid are not naturally found on Coruscant, the natural migration patterns of the Mon Calamari from their homeworld to The Dagobah system and Kamino brings them directly past Coruscant. While no cases of the squid flu have yet been found on Coruscant, the deadly disease has been found throughout Endor and Cato Neimoidia. Officials worry the virus might spread from migratory squid to the nearly 10 billion alien residents of mixed origin on Coruscant.

The deadly bird flu virus is rare in Humans, Ugnaughts, and Grans, but scientists fear it could mutate into a form that could spread rapidly among people and possibly spark a galaxy-wide epidemic. Authorities say cooking kills the virus, and it is safe to eat properly handled and cooked squid. The Empire completed its plan on Monday to test 75,000 to 100,000 wild squid this year. While the test can be done by simply taking a sample of blood, representatives from the Empire claim that they will actually kill the Mon Calamari, as it will help squelch their involvement in a growing rebellion against the Empire. Tests also will be run on 50,000 samples of water and squid droppings.

"Jango & Cash" Tops weekend Box office

(Kaminowood, Outer-rim)

A surprise winner at the box office this weekend was the high-paced, fast action "Jango & Cash". Only one week after the highly politicized Ackbars, it seems as though movie go-ers were after less politically active entertainment. The Action film about two rival bounty-hunters who must team up in order to take down a renegade smuggler brought in nearly thirteen-billion republic credits, as well as 2.5 million wupiupi while attracting a strong 350 million-viewers galaxy-wide.

"Jango & Cash" premiered nearly three weeks ago, but only in select theatres in the republic. This weekend marked the release to all of the planets in the republic, as well as many of the planets beyond the outer rim, as well as those planets not under the control of the Republic, including Tatooine.

Also topping the weekend charts include "The Shaggy Bantha", which brought in a 7.3 billion republic credits, "V for Valorum" with 5.4 billion credits, and "Failure to Launch" which received a higher-than expected 75 republic credits.

Kaminowood celebrates 7,456th annual Ackbars

(Kaminowood, Outer-Rim)

The celebrities were in full regalia for this evenings 7,456th annual Ackbar Awards, and while those of the surprise upset holo-film of "Crash Landing" have much to celebrate this evening, others are dealing with the bitter taste of defeat. Many thought that "Brokeback Kashyyyk" was a sure thing to win the best picture. "Brokeback Kashyyyk" is the controversial tale of two gay wookies who find love on a smuggling trip in the outer rim. "Crash Landing", the interwoven narrative of alienism on Coruscant, was an unexpected winner, despite having won several awards recently leading up to the International Empire Awards.

The full list of awards follows:

Best Motion Picture of the Year
Winner: Crash Landing

Best Performance by an Alien in a Leading Role
Winner: Sy snootles

Best Performance by a Droid in a supporting Role
Winner: k-3Po

Best sensual dance by an imprisoned Twi'lek
Winner: oola

Best documentary
Winner: March of the Jawas

Vader 'waving when fell off bike'

(Corellia)

Galactic overlord Darth W Vader was waving to stormtroopers when he fell off his bike at a summit in Corellia last July, newly published police papers reveal.

Lord Vader was shouting "Thanks, you guys, for coming" when he lost control and collided with an officer, the documents obtained by Corellia on Sunday show.

The smash left Lord Vader with scrapes on his hands and arms, and the stormtrooper needing crutches for an ankle injury.

At the time, Lord Vader laughed off the crash as a sign "I should act my age".

The stormtrooper report confirms that Lord Vader later telephoned the injured stormtrooper to ask how he was and to apologise.

The cause of the officer's injury was officially recorded as being "hit by a moving/falling object".

The report details how the stormtrooper, dressed in riot gear, was guarding a road outside the Gleneagles Hotel when Mr Bush cycled up on a damp road.

"As the overlord passed the junction at speed he raised his left arm from the handlebars to wave to the stormtroopers present while shouting 'Thanks, you guys, for coming'.

"As he did this he lost control of the cycle, falling to the ground, causing both himself and his bicycle to strike [the stormtrooper] on the lower legs," it says.

The Empire made no comment on the report.

Lord Vader's usual cycling trails are near his ranch in Crawford, Coruscant, and near a Secret Service training facility at the galactic senate.