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Monday, February 27, 2006

Salacious Crumb Sets new Filibuster Record


A new record was set in the senate when senator Salacious Crumb of Tatooine delivered a filibuster cosisting completely of giggliing and jumping, in order to block voting for a bill. The GN has learned that Senator Salacious crumb had no idea what the bill entailed, or that there was even a vote that day. Some say Sen. Crumb was unaware that he had even made it to the senate floor, including the senior Senator from Tattoine, Jabba the Kennedy, saying: "No jabba no bada, hoosa Chappaquidick."

Senator Crumb's filibuster went on for an impressive forty-nine hours and thirty-seven minutes, more the doubling the previous record held by South Carolina's J. Strom Thurmond, who filibustered for twenty-four hours and eighteen minutes against the Civil Rights Actof 1957.

Some are calling for the end of the filibuster. Senate majority leader Boba Frist said "It was in the twenty fifth hour or so when he stripped nude and was clinging to the rafters, that I wanted to end the long tradition of the filibuster," adding, "to be honest, none of use really knew what this filibuster was all about. Senator Crumb just started giggling after I called session to order, and wouldn't stop."

Today was the first day of Senator Crumb's 6-year term.


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