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Monday, February 13, 2006

Millions gather on Naboo for Funeral of Obi-John McKenobi

(Naboo) -
Last week, millions of mourners gathered on Naboo to celebrate the life of a civil rights leader, Jedi Senator Obi-John McKenobi (R). McKenobi, best known for his service as a Jedi, was killed by Darth Maul. However, controversy surrounded the ceremonial burning of McKenobi's body as Members of the Alliance took the opportunity to burn Members of the Republic. Rev. Joe Joe Lowerinks was quoted as saying
Mesa be knowin' there woosa no Boom-booms of Massa Destwuction ova dea. Hoosa there-a boom-booms of meesa-diwection ova he-a... Fo' Wo' biwwions mo', but no-sa mo' fo' the po-sa. Pa-Chwing!"

Ex-President of the Empire, Jawa Carter, made reference to warrantless uses of the Force against McKenobi by ex-President Darth Sidius (R). Many members of the Republic were outraged by these comments, claiming that Jawa's comments were intended as a statement against President Vader's current program of warrantless strangling-people-with-the-force.


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